A secret that could have changed the cast
Nina Dobrev doesn’t talk about her private life often, so when she does, it lands with a thud. In a new oral history of The Vampire Diaries, the actress reveals she walked into the show’s high-stakes chemistry reads while quietly dating another actor auditioning to play Damon Salvatore. That actor was Rob Mayes. The producers didn’t know. She and Mayes wanted it that way because they feared the relationship could skew casting decisions or cost one of them a job.
The story appears in “I Was Feeling Epic: An Oral History of The Vampire Diaries,” written by Entertainment Weekly editor Samantha Highfill and published on September 9, 2025. Dobrev says the secrecy didn’t spare them the awkward outcome: she landed Elena Gilbert, Mayes didn’t get Damon, and the relationship unraveled soon after. Ian Somerhalder won the role of Damon—and years later, he and Dobrev became a couple off-screen.
That admission reframes an early turning point for a series that became a defining hit for The CW. The show premiered in 2009 and ran through 2017, with Dobrev anchoring the story as Elena—first pulled between brothers Stefan and Damon, then drawn into the supernatural storm around Mystic Falls. Casting was the hinge everything swung on. Chemistry reads mattered. Dobrev was meeting scene partners who would shape years of storytelling and a fervent fan base.
According to Dobrev, keeping the Mayes relationship under wraps felt like the safest move. It also set up a painful split when the jobs shook out unevenly. The aftermath is now part of TV lore: Somerhalder’s Damon became the show’s electric catalyst, and “Delena”—the Damon/Elena pairing—turned into a fandom juggernaut. Off-screen, Dobrev and Somerhalder started dating in 2010, three seasons into the show’s run, and separated in May 2013.
What’s striking in her retelling isn’t the romance; it’s the honesty about how work and life collided before the pilot even shot. Actors are told to focus on the scene, leave everything else at the door. But behind any franchise-defining love story are people navigating real stakes: careers, privacy, and the fear that one personal detail could cost them a role.
Highfill’s book, built around interviews with cast and creatives, puts that pressure in context. Oral histories thrive on the “you-had-to-be-there” details, and this one delivers a candid look at a moment that could have changed the show’s DNA. Imagine, for a beat, a different Damon—someone who wasn’t Somerhalder—opposite Dobrev’s Elena. Different banter. Different edge. Different series.
From on-set romance to off-screen lives
Dobrev and Somerhalder’s relationship lasted three years, long enough to overlap with some of the show’s most intense Damon/Elena arcs. Then came the breakup. Fans watched closely for cracks in the on-screen pairing. The work held. By every public sign, they kept things professional. Dobrev stayed through Season 6, exiting the series in 2015 and later returning for the 2017 finale to help land the story the show had been building toward.
The professionalism mattered. The series was still a ratings anchor for The CW and a global streaming staple. Scenes between Damon and Elena didn’t go away just because the off-screen relationship did. They delivered the performances the story needed, even as their lives moved in different directions beyond the set.
Those directions are now clear. Somerhalder married actress Nikki Reed in 2015; they share two children. Dobrev has been with Olympic snowboarder Shaun White for years and is now engaged. None of that is headline gossip anymore—it’s the natural end point for a cast that spent the better part of a decade growing up inside a hit show.
Highfill’s book arrives with the distance to look back without relitigating old rumors. It adds texture: the quiet relationship during tryouts, the break that followed, and the twist of fate that put Dobrev across from Somerhalder instead of Mayes. It also sketches the stakes of early casting decisions—how a single role can redirect careers and shape the culture around a show.
Timeline, at a glance:
- 2009: Chemistry reads for the pilot. Dobrev is secretly dating Rob Mayes while he auditions for Damon. She is cast as Elena; Mayes isn’t. Ian Somerhalder is chosen as Damon Salvatore.
- 2010–2013: Dobrev and Somerhalder date during the series’ run.
- 2015: Dobrev leaves after Season 6; Somerhalder remains on the show.
- 2017: Dobrev returns for the series finale.
- 2015–2025: Somerhalder marries Nikki Reed; they have two children. Dobrev becomes engaged to Shaun White. The oral history is published September 9, 2025.
The reveal doesn’t rewrite what fans watched, but it sharpens the edges around it. The audition room was more charged than anyone knew. A private relationship sat behind a professional decision. The part went to someone else, the relationship ended, and a different love story—on screen and off—took center stage.
Erica Watson-Currie
September 12, 2025 AT 18:46We often forget that casting decisions are like hidden gears turning a universe we later feel attached to
Mark Pelletier
September 12, 2025 AT 21:00The revelation about Nina's secret audition romance invites us to contemplate the fragile architecture of narrative destiny and the precarious balance between personal desire and professional ambition. It underscores how a fleeting connection in a sterile audition room can echo through the corridors of pop culture for a decade. Actors enter a crucible where chemistry reads are not merely exercises but potential catalysts for reshaping fan mythos. Nina's choice to conceal her relationship with Rob Mayes was a strategic gamble that whispers of a deeper industry ethic where personal entanglements are weighed against casting equity. The fact that Mayes ultimately did not secure the Damon role while Ian stepped into the role illustrates the often invisible hand of serendipity guiding outcomes beyond the actors' control. This underscores a broader truth that the narratives we cherish are co‑authored by countless unseen decisions and compromises. Fans who later cheered the Delena ship were unknowingly celebrating a narrative that could have taken a dramatically different hue. The secret relationship, therefore, becomes a silent thread woven into the fabric of the show’s legacy, reminding us that every on‑screen romance has its off‑screen counterpart. Moreover, Nina's candidness about this period adds a layer of authenticity that challenges the mythic veneer surrounding celebrity lives. It pushes us to acknowledge that emotional risk is a constant companion for performers navigating the thin line between art and livelihood. The eventual split between Nina and Rob after the casting outcomes hints at the emotional toll that such professional maneuvers can exact. It also highlights the resilience required to continue delivering compelling performances despite personal upheaval. The industry’s demand for compartmentalization forces actors to compartmentalize love, loss, and ambition into separate vessels, often at the expense of emotional well being. In the grand tapestry of The Vampire Diaries, this episode serves as a reminder that behind every dramatized kiss lies a real person juggling ambitions and affections. Finally, the story invites us to imagine an alternate universe where a different Damon sparked a different chemistry, reminding us of the countless possibilities that hinge on a single casting decision. In sum, Nina’s disclosure not only satisfies a curiosity but enriches our understanding of the complex interplay between private lives and public narratives.
Cheyenne Walker
September 12, 2025 AT 23:13From a production standpoint, this anecdote underscores the importance of maintaining professional boundaries during casting processes. Studios often implement policies to prevent conflicts of interest, and this example illustrates why such measures exist. It also provides a case study for aspiring actors on navigating personal relationships in high‑stakes environments. By keeping the romance discreet, Nina and Rob adhered to industry norms, albeit at personal cost. The eventual outcomes demonstrate how transparency-or the lack thereof-can impact career trajectories. For casting directors, it serves as a reminder to assess chemistry objectively, independent of off‑screen dynamics. Overall, this episode enriches our understanding of the complex decision‑making that shapes long‑running series.
Jo Simpkinson
September 13, 2025 AT 01:26Wow yeah because nothing says drama like a secret fling in a cold audition room wow
Darrell Kuykendall
September 13, 2025 AT 03:40Totally! That secret vibe probably made the reading even more electric, right? Keep pushing forward, it’s all part of the journey!!!
Dean Obijekwu
September 13, 2025 AT 05:53Interesting slice of TV history.
finlay moss
September 13, 2025 AT 08:06lol i cant beleve they kept it a secret i tought niana was just hype for the show, but thts how it works behind the scenes yeah?
Carl Gough
September 13, 2025 AT 10:20Listen pal, it's clear the industry is a jungle and only the fierce survive-Nina played it smart, and Ian? He just rode the wave!
Rebecca Hayes
September 13, 2025 AT 12:33From a fan‑engagement perspective, this back‑stage revelation adds a new dimension to the show's mythos and serves as a valuable case for community discussions about casting transparency.
Jason Underhill
September 13, 2025 AT 14:46Sure, but we all know drama sells, right? :)
Kirsten Wilson
September 13, 2025 AT 17:00i think its wild how a secret audition romcom can shift the whole narrative arc of a show it gives u a new lens to see the drama
Michelle Roque
September 13, 2025 AT 19:13yeah thts reely interesting, i guess we learn that behind the scenes its all bout timing!!
Killian Lecrut
September 13, 2025 AT 21:26Well, if secret hookups can alter a show's destiny, maybe we should all start dating our casting directors-just kidding, but it’s a fun thought.